Revised Lede by Benjamin Chacon

Original lede:

“An underdog story if ever there was one: A puppy from an abandoned hotel in middle-of-nowhere South Carolina, picked up by an all-kill shelter where owners have 48-hours to claim a dog before it is euthanized. With only hours left, this dog’s fate is changed by a woman many kilometres away.”

Revised lede:

“An underdog story if ever there was one: In 2010, a stray puppy was picked up from an abandoned hotel in South Carolina by an all-kill shelter where unclaimed dogs are euthanized after 48-hours. This past Tuesday, that same puppy was one of 15 mixed-breed dogs permitted to compete in the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, the biggest dog show in the world.”

Revision notes:

Let me begin by saying that this exercise was much more difficult than I expected. Crafting a lede that both introduces the content of the story and engages the reader is no small task.

I should also mention that I originally pegged the lede as a hard-news lede because it’s rather information-heavy (who, what, where, when and how). However, I’m now of the opinion that it’s more of a medley lede. It incorporates both hard-news and anecdotal elements.

One of the biggest hurdling blocks I faced in shaping my revised lede was changing the scope. In the original lede, Amberly (the journalist) speaks to only one compartment of the story—that a stray puppy defied the odds by being saved by a stranger only hours before being euthanized. What Amberly misses in her lede, and what I thought should be included because it makes the story much more engaging, is that the stray puppy recently competed in a world-class dog show that has historically been exclusive to pure-bred dogs.

I think that any lede to this story must include a tidbit about how Emma (the once stray dog) is now competing is world-class dog shows. It’s the contrast between what Emma was three years ago and what she is today that’s most captivating. I hope that I was able to do that in my revised lede.