My original lede is from a story by Bleacher Report:
Title: “Olympic Freestyle Skiing 2014: Live Results, Highlights of Women's Slopestyle”
Original Lede: “Coming into Tuesday morning's inaugural women's slopestyle event in freestyle skiing, it was widely expected that a Canadian skier would leave Sochi with a gold medal.
And one did. But she's not who you were expecting.”
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Revised lede: If I could, I would re-work the lede by adding some elements from the article’s nut graph:
“Canada's Dara Howell made history at an inaugural women’s skiing slopestyle event Tuesday morning, posting an unexpected 94.20 score in the finals to crush the competition and become the sport’s first woman crowned champion at the Olympics.”
I thought the original bait-and-switch lede was unnecessary, because it just prolongs the reader from understanding the facts. I think the nut graph is engaging by itself, so I combined elements of both to create a fact-filled lede, which I think is still exciting.
Title: “Olympic Freestyle Skiing 2014: Live Results, Highlights of Women's Slopestyle”
Original Lede: “Coming into Tuesday morning's inaugural women's slopestyle event in freestyle skiing, it was widely expected that a Canadian skier would leave Sochi with a gold medal.
And one did. But she's not who you were expecting.”
---
Revised lede: If I could, I would re-work the lede by adding some elements from the article’s nut graph:
“Canada's Dara Howell made history at an inaugural women’s skiing slopestyle event Tuesday morning, posting an unexpected 94.20 score in the finals to crush the competition and become the sport’s first woman crowned champion at the Olympics.”
I thought the original bait-and-switch lede was unnecessary, because it just prolongs the reader from understanding the facts. I think the nut graph is engaging by itself, so I combined elements of both to create a fact-filled lede, which I think is still exciting.
I love how you start with the exciting line of "...made history..." that makes me want to keep reading.
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