February 13th Tri-City Herald
Opening Statements begin in Richland teen murder trial
By Kristin Kraemer
“The lawyer for a Richland man charged with killing a teen on July 4 after staying up all night drinking and smoking marijuana told jurors Thursday they'll learn from witnesses what it's like to be high and how it affects a person's state of mind.”
This is a good lede because it makes the reader wonder what is coming up next. Additionally, it offers a promise of new medical research with respect to an individual’s state of mind while high on marijuana. Since the legalization of marijuana in the State of Washington, this type of story is especially sensitive and interesting for Washingtonians. To date, the news has been full of why marijuana is ok and how there is no clinical evidence that it alters the mind. This murder case defense will attempt to prove otherwise. If anyone has opened a Washington newspaper in the last year, they would want to keep on reading.
February 13th New York Times
Debate Over de Blasio Call on Bishop’s Arrest
By Michael M. Grynbaum
“When a teacher at his daughter’s school was arrested at a political protest, Bill de Blasio, then a New York City councilman, pleaded with the district attorney not to seek jail time, then wrote to the judge to request leniency. Mr. de Blasio would frequently call the local police precinct to inquire about crime reports.”
This lede needs improvement because it lacks the ability to capture the reader. While it does give some background on de Blasio as an intervener and as a public figure, it really misses the mark with respect as to why the story is important enough to take up a reader’s time. Unless the reader has a connection to this individual, loves city politics, they are left asking – so what or what else is new? It could be improved by starting off with exciting detail such as the Bishop’s arrest scene, how the mayor reacted, was he compelled to do nothing since he was now Mayor…many things could add spice to this lede.
One thing I'd like to ask Jeremy in class next week, [and I had a lede similar to one here,] are run-on sentences effective [I used to call these fun-on sentences.] This comment is also impacted by the book, How to Write Short... Great Book.
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